Today, September 22, 2018, my parents celebrate their 45th Wedding Anniversary! As a married man of almost 8 years (this December), I'm in awe of this. Not because I think my wife and I won't be married for that long or anything like that. I'm in awe because I strive to make my marriage as strong as my parents or for that matter, my wife's parents. I believe they will have been married for 40 years this coming October. As good as my marriage is and as much as I love my wife now, I can't even imagine what it will feel like when we celebrate our 10 year anniversary, let alone our 40th or 45th!
After talking to my dad and wishing him a "Happy Anniversary," I got to thinking. How does a marriage, or even a relationship last? Is it communication? Romance? Knowing your partners' 'Love Language?' D.) All of the above? What makes MY marriage work? A lot of people will tell you to "Keep God at the center of it," so is it strictly a success based on faith? We've all heard, "Love is patient, Love is Kind..." (1 Corinthians 13:4), so is true love based strictly on those virtues? If so, and if we knew answer so easily, why do so many marriages fail? We see marriages in Hollywood succumb to divorce all the time and sometimes the divorce decrees and proceedings sound so nasty and hateful, was love part of the marriage in the first place?
In my opinion, marriages last because of a word that involves ALL of those different words I've mentioned, but combines it all into one nice, little package. What I think needs to be present in any relationship to succeed is, WORK. We have been trained since we were toddlers that in order to achieve a goal or get something we really, really want we have to "work for it," or just flat out "work hard." Some people think this takes on a negative connotation, but that is not my intention. By working on our marriage and relationship I mean we are evolving, learning, communicating and loving our partner daily. As we learn how to love them and how to show our love to them, we show them we care and we truly become "one." My wife and I learn through working on our marriage how to manage a house, raise our children, reach personal and relationship goals, and plan for a life full of happiness. That doesn't just happen without work, people! Now remember, work can be fun! Some of my most treasured times with my wife so far in our marriage is our talks. By talking and communicating every night when the kids go to bed, I still learn about her, I still make her laugh (and she makes me giggle as well), we plan our week, talk about out kids, our hopes and dreams, where we want to go for summer vacations when we get older, etc..... By taking time to talk to her, I'm not only talking to a best friend, I'm working on my marriage day by day! It's work because it takes time and planning to do this. However, like all work, the more and harder you work, the better the pay!
In closing, again, Happy Anniversary mom and dad. I wish you many more years of love and happiness!
-Matt
